Tuesday, 22 October 2013

The brand crazy crazy brand

I had just delivered a girl baby and overheard the doctors say that they had to check to see if she was perfect. I prayed silently that the result of the examination called the 'neonatalbranding' should be positive and my daughter should be accepted by the branding committee.

The check to brand the newborn goes thus:

The length of the fingers and toes, the sharpness of the nose and the position of the cheek bones will be analysed through DNA tests. Based on these the child will be branded as A, B,C or D. It is every mother's hope and dream that her child gets the A brand by the neonatal branding institute. While people from the yesteryear may wonder why this is so important, the branding status will determine the playgroup that the child can go to and then the nursery, the primary school, up to graduation.

Recently I heard that now-a-days some of the top brand companies ask for the neonatal branding certificate and top-notch companies like  Zeepro, WINTEL,UBM, etc. recruit only A branders.

I want my daughter to go to VeeKids, so silently I prayed, "God let her be A brand or at least B, but nothing below it". With a B brand she could go to TITS college or LXRI if not EET. I could send her to the IKSE or the VBSE board schools. The nearest branded school near my house is the BPS. With little more luck, I could even think of KIS.

My heart was racing when the doctor came back into the labor ward to announce the result of the neonatal branding. The doctor had a glum look on his face as he said, "I leave the decision of keeping the baby with you, to you. We will all respect your decision. May God give you the strength to accept the result and the courage to take a bold decision. Your daughter has a D grade."

My heart sank as the world came crashing down on me. I felt the earth giving way under my feet as I slipped from the bed. I gathered myself before I could fall and woke up with a jerk. I sat up and gently felt my stomach. I was due to deliver in about a week's time. The panic slowly vanished as I realised that the only positive I could take away from the nightmare was that I might have a girl baby. As I looked down I promised to myself that I will keep my child as healthy and happy as possible and never to buy something because it is branded and not to deny anything good just because it is not branded. Let the brand craze end here, I told myself!

P.S. This article is written only to draw attention to the fact that over emphasis on branding everything can harm spontaneity and may prove unnecessary and any other meaning derived is completely baseless and unintended by the writer.

How many brands, how many promises...