Thursday, 7 November 2013

Simple things in life can bring immense joy!

This is the 100th post that I am publishing on my blog. I wanted to keep it simple and decided to share some simple experiences that brought immense joy in my life.

As a mother I always tried to explore new ways of bonding with my children. I cooked the food that I wanted them to eat. If I expected resistance, I would simply give exotic names and make them look forward to the dish. My daughter always appreciated my experiments, though sometimes my son would protest.

Slowly, I started cooking to please my son’s taste buds, but very soon realised that his demands kept growing.  I soon learnt to keep my cooking very simple and though my son was happy, my daughter was used to the variety. Then we agreed that when my daughter invited her friends home I would cook what she wanted. The deal was made!

Whenever there was a school project, my kids would discuss the project with me. If it warranted my help, I would help them with their projects, perhaps in cutting thick card boards or very thin plastic sheets, but as a bargain, would make them help me with cooking, cleaning, washing vessels or drying the clothes. As I watched them interact with each other, I realised that they were carving out a pattern between themselves. Whenever they had a deal with me, they would have a sub-deal between themselves. If it was my son’s project, he had to do the dirty jobs, and if it was my daughter’s then she did what she did not like doing.

I had once helped my daughter with a project on simple machine and we made a pair of scissors. By the time we could complete it, she was too tired and went off to sleep. I stayed up to complete it as she had to submit it the next day. 

The next day when she returned from school I asked her if her project did well. She told me this: “Amma, your project did well. I cannot claim any credit for it. I told my teacher that I left you alone to complete it and I am not feeling good about it.”  She amazed me with her bold honesty!

A couple of years later it was my son’s turn to submit a project and he needed help. I helped him with the model. He sat up with me till it was done. He decided what he wanted to make and every small detail had to be in place. The model was chosen to be part of an annual exhibition conducted by the school. My son’s teacher wanted him to speak about the transistor that he made. Instead of speaking about it himself, he wrote out a few lines and asked the teacher to make someone else who could speak well do it. I felt a disappointed, but he was very clear. “I am not good at speaking, Amma. I think the girl who has been chosen will do it better”, he told me. I was not sure if he was trying to console me, when it should have been the other way around!

I guess, I never consoled my children by saying something that would give them a false sense of security. I thought it was better to let them face reality and understand their own strengths and weaknesses. 

When I look back I recount how these simple moments bring immense joy and satisfaction every time I think about them, I realised that it is the time that you spend with people that may matter more than the time that you spend for them.